And Now, A Word From Our Sponsors

What do you call a brand new sandwich that may cause your blood pressure to spike, to get a splitting headache, and let's face it, have a heart attack, but looks so good? How about a Double Down? Just like splitting those aces, KFC is betting big time the that war on childhood obesity will be lost to fast food giants dubbing their menu items as catchy little slogans such as "Monster Thickburger" or "BK Quad Stacker" What would you rather have a "Grilled Chicken Breast" (8 grams fat, 210 calories) or a FREAKIN' "DOUBLE DOWN" (32 grams fat, 540 calories). Duh! Fearing the war on childhood obersity may be won soon (ha), lest Dr. Slider K. Shaftacular have no fat kids to treat to make him rich, I made KFC stock increase just a little last Friday night because dammit, I wanted a Double Down.

Truthfully, I had been eyeing this advertising slad-dunk for awhile now. I don't really eat fast food other than when we're traveling. The issue was that Tim refused to eat something like that when we "didn't have home court advantage." So looking at my "plans" for last Friday night, I saw nothing but a DVRed Jersey Shore and an all-new Ghost Adventures. The scene was set.

What the Double Down got right: superb marketing scheme, bacon, and a cute little box to put it all in. The DD was smaller than I anticipated, about 1/2-3/4 as big as it shows in the commercials.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwXaZjyAKTI&feature=related
Where it failed me: somewhere between 1987 and now, Col. Sanders decided that 27 herbs and spices were cutting into his bottom line and one mineral (salt) would do just fine. Holy shit. I had a headache until I went to bed and I had already consumed about 30 oz. of water. The fat created a nice slide in my intenstines. I'll leave it at that.

KFC: you were like a case of Natty Lite; you made that Double Down look so so good, but the next day, I realized that I won't be calling on you again.