A blog to welcome my I'm-never-coming-back return to St. Louis, complete with non-trained, non-scientific restaurant reviews, cooking adventures, and whatever else comes to mind.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Unabashed Glutton's Diatribe About Stupid Restaurant Tag Lines

Saint Louis recently celebrated its Restaurant Week, a week where participating restaurants prepare a prix fixe menu at a set price (this year 25 dollars). The event organizers did a nice job of designing a website that made it easy to explore the various menus as well as reserve a spot via Open Table. In conjunction with Restaurant Week, the charitable organization "Operation Food Search" was running a campaign to add an "extra helping" to your check for a donation to its cause.

I had 28 restaurants to choose among, and I had only been to two or three previously, so the first task was making a selection. After scouring over each and every menu, I decided on Mosiac Modern Fusion (?) Tapas, which was generously offering a five-course menu instead of the customary three-course.

Mosaic has moved sometime in the last four years from where Tim had his first experience ("like a bar") to where it is currently, with an upscale lounge and separate dining room outfitted with high-back booths and tall windows for great Washington Avenue people watching.

The first course-the 'Amuse Bouche'-not really a course at all but a mini-tapa (tapita?) sort of adventure complete with truffle foam (huh?) and greenish something. It was just ok. Tim would have rather had a basket of bacon and I would have rather had something I could have copied to make at home, or better yet, identify. The second and third courses were soup and salad. Tim went traditional (safe) with baked potato soup and I ventured out with the watermelon/sriracha chilled soup. Now, if you know me well, you know I don't touch ANY melon, ever. However, it is not the taste but the texture and all puried up baby food style, this soup was a tasty, spicy concoction. We both had the arugula salad with a soft boiled egg to smoosh all over the place along with "speck" (just say bacon, for Christ's sake).

The main courses did leave a bit to be desired. Tim had 21-day dry aged sliced NY strip (meh) with fried manchego balls, which sound really awesome but tasted like fried dough. I had the king crab over foie gras (ha Chicago) and truffle emulsion, just because it sounded uber-expensive. Just sounded, not tasted.

Although we were ordering from the prix fixe menu and didn't venture into Mosaic's odd and somewhat limited tapas offerings, I have to make a comment here on its cuisine description, of which it is very proud, "modern fusion tapas." What the hell does that mean? The mere fact that you're using a Spanish word should imply Spanish food. Otherwise just say small plates. "Modern?" This allows Mosaic to use weird shit like foam and green stuff. And "Fusion"-I guess this is what allows to usage of the now colloquial "tapas." If we use manchego, we can call anything we want tapas. Hell, I'm calling tortilla chips tapas from now on. As long as they're a small portion and overpriced. Soapbox.

www.mosaictapas.com

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Unabashed Gluttony-Road Edition II

Oops a little late with getting this one posted. After our fateful run-in with Hurricane Columbia, we were off for the remaining 126 miles to Kansas City*. If you're at all familiar with your grocery store's condiment section, you are privy to "KC Masterpiece" BBQ sauce. Kansas City or "Kay-Cay" as Tim calls it, it the Midwestern capital of BBQ, a style that prides itself with meat, namely ribs, slathered in sweet, sticky sauce. I received several opinions of which joint boasts the best 'Q; I went with my former protege, as she lived there for two years and I assumed she knew what she was talking about.

Jack Stack, not owned by anyone named Jack or Stack, is a local chain. The downtown location was large, sprawling, touristy, and not what I had in mind (hello, big dude slatherin' ribs out back, ala Fried Green Tomatoes, minus the cannabalism). Since we were there for lunch, the "Sampler Platter," although exactly what I wanted, just didn't fit into the game plan, if I wanted to make it through the scheduled day of WWI Museum and Kauffman Stadium. So I ventured over to the sandwich section, and chose the "Burnt Ends" sandwhich, which is basically the crunchy part of the brisket and pork shoulder all chopped up and put on a bun with some 'slaw. I was also able to exchange the fries with bbq baked beans and some crazy creation that paired the cheese from mac 'n' cheese with sweet corn. Interestingly, this sandwhich came with NO BBQ SAUCE. I had to ask for it. I really enjoy places you can go and choose which your sauce because they're just sitting on the table (Pappy's, Shaved Duck). I punted and went with the "spicy" sauce, which was nothing to write home about.

The big disappointment was the pulled pork sandwhich that Tim ordered. The sauce and the pork were pre-mixed, a big no-no in my book, and it resembeled the $6.99 bucket you find in the frozen section. Only about half of the sandwich was consumed.

We're making another trip back to Kay-Cay in September; perhaps we'll try one of the many other recommendations I received for gettin' some 'Q in the city.

*Cool city! Very impressed.

http://www.jackstackbbq.com/info.asp?ii=2&sid=&eid=&tid=

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Unabashed Gluttony-Road Edition I

Off to Kansas City this past weekend-I had never been past St. Peters, MO on Int 70 so this was my first trip across MO and I waited with baited breath. Driving across Missouri on 70 is like driving from my parents' house to Des Moines including a poor emulation of Iowa-80 truck stop known as the Oak Grove 70.

Night #1 brought us to Columbia, MO, home of Mizzou, UM, UMC, whatever it's trying to be called. I was interested in seeing the campus and the college town that goes along with having a University. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to compare every college town to Madison, which is not really fair. Columbia is a step up from Champaign, but not by much. After rolling into town after experiencing what seemed like a landlocked hurricane, we set off amid crazy street flooding to find something to eat. We received two recommendations to try the Flat Branch Pub and Brewery and after having shitty directions from Google Maps-again- we found the place. We step inside to find the rest of Columbia inside. Seemingly, no one left during the Monsoon we were having and therefore, no new people could get a seat. Thankfully, the storm was clearing (temporarily) and we sat after about 15 minutes.

Tim had some sandwich that was recommended: it was kind of bland and not too exciting. I had a burger topped with artichoke dip (Tim knows CPR I think) and we split some pretzels. The burger was a great idea; I was only able to eat half, but the pretzels were no Gus's or Sage's spin on Gus's with some beer cheese.

Flat Branch had 10 beers on tap ranging from a pilsner to a stout. We each started with an ale, which I thought were decent and then I switched to the porter and Tim to the stout, which were mistakes. Not only does it not make sense to drink these beers in August, they simply weren't good. My porter, and I like my porter's smoky, tasted like making out with a frat boy who had chain smoked all night. The stout didn't have the head on it that we've grown accustomed to seeing on a Guinness.

It was good to experience a new town and a locally owned place, but unless we have a kid many years down the road going to Mizzou, we will not be back.

http://www.flatbranch.com/home.asp

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Just in Case You Needed to Smoke a Bowl While You Eat...

I have yet to find a restaurant to reproduce the atmosphere at The Venice [Cafe is optional]. One never knows what a stop at the Venice may bring: on one occasion, I fed a boa contrictor a live mouse.* I've been there a dozen or so times and each time I see something new I never quite noticed before; bowls aside, there are a plethora of "paraphernalia" put into a mosaic in this bar. Monday, I visited the Venice with the sole purpose to try the food for the first time.

The menu has a dozen or so cajun-inspired items, and I decided to go for the jerk chicken, which came with a side of plantains and sort-of hushpuppies, but sweeter. Very tasty, and enough for a second meal. I did see the kabobs come out, I think I would recommend them just by looks alone. The menu may change unexpectedly; two different (out of 12) items were not available. At a place like the Venice, there's no room for a Type A personality that would ensure that the kitchen was well stocked. This bar/restaurant is also cash only with no table service; order one place for your food, another for your booze.

The Venice Cafe: go for the atmosphere and while you're at it, pick up some food (if it's available).

*Strangely, it appears it is a health code violation to have live animals where you sell food. No more snake.

http://www.thevenicecafe.com/

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Bievenido Al Milagro, Can I Bring Your Check?

The quest for Mexican Food continues: Saturday night brought us to El Milagro, a difficult to find spot in Old Webster. Poor signage and a closed road had us walking around trying to find this spot (El Secreto?), we even ran into another couple as confused as we were. After spotting some El Milagro sun shades, we made our way into this Sauce Magazine rated place.

They tout their menu as "Modern Mexican" which I guess allows them to take some liberties with traditional Mexican menu items. It was serendipitous that we arrived at 5:30 PM; El Milagro has daily (yes on Saturday!) happy hour specials which include 1/2 price apps and 3 dollar sangria and margaritas. I can't pass up a ceviche, which unfortunately has come back to haunt. But there I was ordering the mahi-mahi ceviche, which comes with jicama, red onions, etc. It was decent. Unfortunately, all ceviche I eat is now compared with the one I had at Frontera Grill, which is more or less unfair. For my entree I had enchiladas hongo which had wild mushrooms and some sort of mexican truffle se llama "huitlacoche" and since I had no idea what that meant, I had to order it. It was finished with a black bean sauce. Very filling-only ate one out of three and am excited to eat the leftovers for lunch. Tim ordered the mahi mahi fish tacos (lovin' that fish), also decent not outstanding. Each entree comes with choice of fritos: black (underseasoned) and pinto (with bacon). Neither is "Refritoed" - just a blob of beans, but that is fine. The rice is also offered as a choice: traditional Mexican or with cilantro. Both taste about the same.

The strange thing about El Milagro was our waitor's onstensible hurry to get us out of there. We arrived at granny hour (per usual) so it's not like people were waiting for tables. At first he seemed somewhat put-off by my not wanting to order my entree when we ordered the ceviche. Then, as he's serving us our entrees, he offers us dessert. THEN right after we're done eating he brings our check. I wouldn't have minded having another drink, but he seemed in such a rush that we didn't want to patronize this place any longer. Total dining time: 45 minutes.

This is probably the best Mexican food, apart from the taqueria on Cherokee, that I've had in St. Louis. Unfortunately, the strange service will cause my quest to continue...

www.milagromodernmexican.com